Do you know who will take care of you when you are unable to take care of yourself? Studies show that most caregivers for aging seniors are likely to be women, and most likely to be your daughter or daughter-in-law. What this means is that unless parents have a plan for their future long term care, the financial burden of caring for these aging parents will fall to daughters and their families.

Serving as a caregiver for elderly parents includes more than just driving to doctor appointments or helping with the shopping, it often includes paying for food and medical costs, as well as taking time away from careers to care for family members. In fact, it’s not unusual for female caregivers to experience a significant loss of income over a lifetime in reduced salary and retirement benefits.

Many seniors think that they will have government programs such as Medicare and Medicaid to fall back on, but these programs don’t always provide as much as expected or hoped. Relying on government programs can leave your children or family members footing just as much of the bill as they would without the programs. Instead, seniors may want to consider investing in long-term-care insurance, which can provide more flexible and comprehensive coverage than government programs, and save seniors and their families much time and money.

If you are a daughter of aging parents, now is the time to talk to your parents about the future. Studies show that you are the one who is likely to shoulder the responsibility of caring for parents as they age. Doing so will affect your family, your career, your finances, and even your health.

The subject of aging and elder care is a difficult one, but not one to be left to the last minute. Talk to your family about your wishes and plans for the future, then bring your estate planning attorney into the discussion. Once you have an idea of your wishes, an expert can help you feel better about your options, and put you on the right path for keeping your family healthy, happy, and financially secure in the years to come.

Share on Facebook

A recent article in the LA Times reminds us of just how important it is to have some kind of living will or advanced healthcare directive, and that it is absolutely necessary to talk about these things with your loved ones. If you have not done these things it is your loved ones who will be left to make the painful and terrible decisions about your medical treatment and possibly even the heart-wrenching DNR determination.

The author writes of his father—chronically ill, stroke survivor, suffering from mild but advancing dementia—who is currently staying in a nursing home, “where they’ve put him on a diet of pureed foods and thickened liquids, but he often refuses to eat, demanding to be taken home and fed the home cooking he’s always loved. It’s hard to tell him that may never happen, and that his options are increasingly grim. If my dad can’t eat, a feeding tube will be his only choice. Other than giving up the fight.”

The family is now struggling to decide if a feeding tube is the right course of action, what their father would (or does) want, and how involved he should be in the decision considering his current state of mental health. “We worry… that with mild but advancing dementia, my father won’t be able to fully comprehend the implications of being fed through a tube implanted in his gut. And if he declines it, is he competent to make that decision?” These are the heart-breaking decisions that can leave loved ones asking themselves for years after, “Did we do the right thing?”

We often shy away from talking about these issues with our family members and loved ones. We think that they are too sad, too depressing, or too far into the future to worry about yet. The only thing that can make these decisions even the tiniest bit easier, however, is knowing for certain what your loved one would want; and the only way to know for certain is to talk about your feelings with your family, and to put your wishes in writing with a living will or healthcare directive. Our office can help you do this.

More often than not the best that can be hoped for in a situation like the one discussed above is that some measure of peace is attained. We wish this for the author of the article and his family, and we wish this for any of our readers involved in similarly difficult and painful circumstances.

Share on Facebook

Salon.com recently published a touching and illuminating article about Baby Boomers and their aging parents—about the transition from being the cared for child to the caregiving adult, and how Boomers are dealing with this new development. This is not the first article to be written on the subject, but this one is unique because it is written by one of the parents.

Author Lillian Rubin writes that she can see the growing worry in the eyes of her 63 year old daughter, “who wants me — her 87-year-old mother — to be in touch when I leave town, even if only for a few days or a week, who calls when she’s traveling though she never did before, whose anxiety announces itself over the phone lines when we haven’t talked for a while: ‘Are you OK?’ I tell her I’m fine, ask her to stop worrying. ‘It’s my turn to worry,’ she replies.”

Even when their parents still have the ability to care for themselves, Boomers can’t help but worry about what might be coming down the road, and when the shoe might drop. This worry can have the effect of putting adult children on edge, and making their parents feel smothered. Rubin writes movingly—and fairly—about the struggle on both sides of the divide. “Parents commonly resist their children’s attempts to intervene, but they are often in denial about the depth of their decline and can’t or won’t see what’s plain to others: They need help. If children back off from the conflict, their parents can fall through the cracks. If they don’t, parents are often resentful and difficult.”

Rubin admits that she has no easy answers, that every family will need to search for their own solution, but our firm knows that finding a solution is easier if you don’t have to do it alone. Having a solid estate plan is not going to solve all the problems between parents and their children, but having a good Advance Healthcare Directive and Financial Power of Attorney can certainly make both parent and child feel a little more secure. Furthermore, opening the lines of discussion for these two documents can clear the way for other important discussions down the road.

Share on Facebook

In this day and age many families are spread across the country, with these winter holidays being their only chance to see each other during the year. This means that many adults are planning a trip this holiday season to visit aging parents they haven’t seen in months—or possibly haven’t seen in over a year! But what many people don’t anticipate is how much can change over a year, or even during a few short months. It is not unusual for adult children to find that their aging parents are not doing as well as they thought.

If a visit to your aging parents this holiday season brings up worries or concerns for you, or if you aren’t sure what to do or where to start, we have a few tips and suggestions that might help. Of course, every family will be different, but these suggestions can get you started down the road to ensuring your parents have the help and care they need.

1. First and foremost, talk to your parents.—some elderly people may be in denial about how much they need help, but many recognize when they begin losing the ability to care for themselves, and appreciate the opportunity to express their concerns and look for assistance.

2. Talk to your siblings—if you’ve noticed mom or dad aren’t doing so well, your siblings have probably noticed something too. Talking about the situation together may help you get a clearer picture of exactly what’s needed, and you may be able to plan the next steps together.

3. A recent article on the New York Times New Old Age Blog recommends contacting a geriatric care manager—this is someone who can work with you and your siblings together, someone “who can assess the situation, come up with a plan and supervise its execution.”

4. As also mentioned on the New Old Age Blog, sometimes the best thing to do is not to come in during the holidays and make snap decisions or sweeping changes, sometimes the best thing you can do is to make small, slow changes. The article points out that “engaging a bill-paying service or a chore service, a transportation program, a few hours a week of a home helper to handle laundry and shopping” can often make a huge difference.

5. Ask your parents if they have some kind of estate plan, or at the very least encourage them to have an advance healthcare directive or living will. If they do not have any kind of powers of attorney, try to help them find an estate planner or elder attorney they can trust and feel comfortable with, who can ensure they have the legal protections they need.

Share on Facebook

As Baby Boomers begin to retire and to think about life after retirement, many find that one of their primary concerns is that of long-term care. Some news sources seem to think that paying for long-term care is going to be a number one issue in the coming years, not only for elderly individuals and their families, but for our society as a whole.

“The cost of long-term-care itself is not trivial. Nursing homes cost on average $87,235 annually… One year in an assisted-living facility is now $41,724. Adult day services are $70 per day, and home health aides cost $21 per hour… How can the country deliver and finance long-term-care for its rapidly aging population?”

It is comforting to know that AARP takes a somewhat less dramatic view of the issue. While they do agree that most seniors will at some point face the need for long-term care—“even if you’re in good health today, there’s a good chance that you’ll eventually need some type of long-term care, at least for awhile”— they urge people to take a pragmatic approach… and to start planning as early as possible. “The cost goes up with age, but it’s still affordable for many people over age 65. Once you hit the mid-70s, though, the cost of a good long-term care policy becomes very expensive, and it may be difficult to qualify for [it].”

An elder law or estate planning attorney is another resource for seniors and their families who are trying to plan ahead for the possibility of paying for long-term care. We specialize in helping you sort through your options, get your financial ducks in a row (right now and years down the line), and apply for government benefits, if necessary.

Don’t let the need for long-term care catch you by surprise. Contact our office to start planning now.

Share on Facebook

Planning your retirement can seem fairly easy at first. As long as you’re careful to live within your means retirement can be a time of freedom, and the ability to explore interests you didn’t have time for before. But as this article in U.S. News and World Report reminds us, that freedom can eventually run out. “Most people retire when they are still healthy and can take care of themselves in their 60s, but you need to plan for a time when you might need more support.”

The article has some good suggestions about how older retirees can plan ahead to set up support systems when they need them. Some of the suggestions are time-honored solutions, such as living with family in a multi-generational household, but others are less obvious—although just as valuable.

One of these less obvious solutions is group living, or cohousing. “A cohousing building caters to community-minded residents who usually share many common rooms including a big communal kitchen, dining area, play room, and family room where residents can get together and socialize. This kind of community is much more close-knit and the neighbors will notice if you need help. . . Cohousing units generally have no staff and the residents take care of themselves and each other.”

Cohousing may be an ideal solution which offers freedom and support at the same time. But if you do decide that cohousing is the route you want to take, you may want to consult with your estate planner or elder law attorney ahead of time. Group living situations may require a buy-in or financial partnership and is not something to be entered into lightly. Any deeds or contracts should be reviewed by a legal professional before permanent steps are taken.

For more information about senior living options please contact our office. We are here to help.

Share on Facebook

There is good news today for senior citizens! According to this article in CNN Money, “Social Security recipients will receive a cost of living adjustment of 3.6% starting in January.” This will be the first “raise” recipients have seen in three years, and most welcome the increase. “Many seniors have felt squeezed since banks are paying virtually no interest on savings accounts and stock market declines has eroded their retirement accounts.”

Unfortunately, many seniors may not see a useful increase in their social security income thanks to a hike in Medicare premiums expected to be announced next month. “For the past two years when Social Security benefits stayed the same, many seniors were shielded from the increase in Medicare premiums because of a “hold harmless” provision that protects more than 70% of beneficiaries… However, high-income beneficiaries and new enrollees did see their benefits reduced because they are not covered under the provision.”

Even with the expected increase to Medicare premiums, most seniors are simply glad to see evidence that The-Powers-That-Be recognize the rising cost of living. While most recipients of Social Security do have an alternate form of income, with their SS benefits representing “about 41% of the elderly’s income”; there are some who “rely on the monthly checks for 90% of their income.”

For more complete information about the coming changes in Social Security please read the full article. For help understanding how this change may fit in with your other benefits, or may affect your estate planning, please contact our office.

Share on Facebook

Young adults are often urged to plan ahead and take control of their future; whether that means getting good grades and planning for college, searching for internships in their career area of interest, or saving money for the day when they are out on their own. Older adults, on the other hand (aside from being advised to save for retirement) may not know that there is one very important way to plan for their own future: choosing a guardian or conservator.

As the elderly population moves into their 70s, 80s and 90s it is not unusual to lose the ability to drive, manage their own finances, or even care for their own daily physical needs. When this happens, and the ability to care for yourself is lost, the courts will often give care over to a guardian or conservator—someone who will manage your money, medication, household tasks (or all of the above) for you.

If you have not taken steps ahead of time to name the person or people you trust to serve as your guardian or conservator then the courts will name one for you. Often the person named as guardian or conservator is the first person to petition the court for the job—although this may not be the person you would choose to manage your money or your care.

The best way to ensure that you have the right person managing your finances or your health care when the time comes is to plan ahead and execute a Nomination of Conservator, a Healthcare Directive, and a Durable Power of Attorney. Together these three documents let the courts know who you trust with your physical or medical care, and who you feel is qualified to properly manage your money without taking advantage. These three documents will help you take control of your own future, even at a time when losing some of that control may seem inevitable.

Share on Facebook

One of the primary concerns of the aging population is long-term care. As the life expectancy of Americans goes up so does the expectation that they will someday need some form of long-term care. You may not know whether that care will happen in a hospital, a nursing home, or in your own home, but you can be sure that it will be expensive.

How expensive will long term care be? It turns out the answer to this question depends a great deal on where you live. The AARP, The Commonwealth Fund, and The SCAN Foundation recently released a report which they call “The Long Term Scorecard,” which compares states and ranks them according to categories. The website Web MD has an article explaining how to use the scorecard and what it means.

The article in Web MD states that “Long-term care is unaffordable for middle income families, according to [The Long Term Scorecard report.] Even in states where nursing home care is most affordable, such care averages 171% of an older person’s household income. The national average is 241%.”

Some states, however, have been making the issue of long-term care a priority, and have been wrestling with questions such as how to make it more affordable to residents and how to provide support to family caregivers. According to the article in Web MD, they’ve broken down the information in “The Scorecard” to help readers understand which states provide the best support (either financial, social, emotional or legal) for the elderly and their caregivers.

The article “ranks states’ performance according to four categories: 1. Affordability and access, 2. Patient choice of both provider and setting, 3. Quality of life and care, and 4. Support for family caregivers.” The states ranked highest overall were Minnesota, Washington, Oregon, Hawaii and Wisconsin; while the lowest ranking states turned out to be Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Oklahoma and Indiana. (For more information on how the states were ranked and what each ranking means please read the article here.)

Perhaps the most important lesson to take from all this is that no matter where you live, or what your health is like right now, it is very likely that you will need some kind of long-term care in the future, and that that care will be expensive. Burying your head in the sand or choosing to “think about it when the time comes” will only make things worse for you and for your family. Call our office and let us help you prepare now for whatever the future may bring.

Share on Facebook

Last month saw some good news for seniors and their families in the state of New York. State Governor Andrew Cuomo announced on his website that he “signed a law to create a statewide alert system for missing vulnerable adults, similar to the nationwide Amber Alert program, which will help authorities locate cognitively impaired persons who go missing.” By signing this law Governor Cuomo added New York to the growing list of states with similar programs in place to help find and protect seniors with Alzheimer’s who may wander away from their homes in confusion.

The first state-wide public notification system for vulnerable adults, sometimes called “Silver Alert” programs, was passed in Oklahoma in 2006. Since then 28 states have joined Oklahoma in passing Silver Alert legislation (or something similar) and five states have some kind of vulnerable adult alert legislation pending.

According to Governor Cuomo’s announcement, New York’s new Amber Alert for Seniors program “provides for the rapid public dissemination of information regarding adults with dementia, Alzheimer’s, or other cognitive impairments who go missing. Under the new law, the same Amber Alert mechanisms used to find missing children will be activated for missing vulnerable adults, including the printing and distribution of photographs and posters, a toll-free twenty-four hour hotline, a curriculum for training law enforcement personnel, and assistance for returning missing vulnerable adults who are located out of state.”

New York’s program—and the similar programs in all participating states—are a comfort to the families of seniors afflicted with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Too often we read news stories about seniors who have wandered away from their homes and are not found until it’s too late. If you worry that your elderly relative may be at risk for wandering, check the laws of your state to find out which programs are available to you and how to enroll (if necessary).

If your state does NOT have a program in place you may want to consider enrolling your elderly loved one in the MedicAlert® + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return® program. To learn more about this nation-wide emergency response service click here.

Share on Facebook