Creating a will or trust, healthcare documents, powers of attorney, etc., can sometimes seem overwhelmingly sad and serious. Well, the act of protecting your loved ones is very serious, but it doesn’t have to be sad. In fact, planning your estate can sometimes be downright enjoyable! Here are 5 ways you can enjoy planning your estate:

1. Let the process of choosing and informing your fiduciaries (the people you will trust to be your executor, your guardians, your agents) forge stronger bonds with the people you love and trust the most. It can be the perfect excuse to spend more time with the friends and family you will be naming in your documents.
2. Make it a time to go crazy with your dreams for the future: Your own retirement, goals for your children, and plans for your grandchildren. Have fun imagining the wonderful old-age you want—and then make it happen.
3. Take the opportunity to learn more about your past—and record that past for your children and grandchildren. Talk to your parents and grandparents about their history and experience; then write it down—along with your own memoirs—and include it with your EP docs for your children to find.
4. As long as you’re gathering important financial information and documents, keep the momentum going and use the time to organize your important files and information. Not only will this help you with your planning, it will make life easier for you every time tax season rolls around, and it will save your family and executor a lot of headache and heartache as well.
5. The biggest reason to enjoy planning your estate is the simplest—it has to be done and it’s the right thing to do. When your estate plan is signed and complete it will be a weight off your shoulders because you will know you have done what is necessary to protect yourself, your family, and the people you love.

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Do feel like there’s more to your children’s inheritance than money? Does your will or trust seem good but… not quite enough?

You’re right. A will and a trust are essential documents to have—especially if you have minor children—but there’s more to protecting your children than those documents. With those documents (plus a nomination of guardian, of course) you’ve provided for your children financially, but what about emotionally? After all, you’ve built a full life for your family and children, one in which they are comfortable and happy. Preserving (as much as possible) the comfort and stability of that life is at least as important as preserving your financial estate.

One of the best ways to do this is with a document called a memorandum of intent. A memorandum of intent is a letter that you write to the guardians of your children. This is a document that details the crucial minutia of your daily life. In it you can express the things that might be considered too small, or the things that change to frequently, to include in your trust—but are essential to the daily fabric of your life:

• After-school activities
• Names and phone numbers of your children’s “best friends”
• Your preferences for religious upbringing
• Unique holidays and traditions celebrated by your family
• Pediatrician name and phone number (or other health-care providers)
• Your discipline style and parenting resources you find helpful
• Your children’s favorite foods, favorite toys, comfort objects

These things may all seem small right now, but it is these comfortable people, places and activities that will help your children through a difficult transition should tragedy strike. You can’t be sure that you will always be there to guide your children into adulthood, but you can be sure they will always know your hopes and wishes for them.

(*A memorandum of intent is not necessarily just for parents of young children. Memorandums can be especially helpful if you have a special needs child or are the caretaker of an elderly parent. Some people have even chosen to leave memorandums of intent along with a pet trust to the caretakers of their pets.)

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We frequently urge you here on our blog to create the documents necessary to protect yourself in case of emergency, and to ensure that your family and loved ones know your wishes for health care if you are ever unable to make those decisions yourself. But a recent article on MSNBC reminds us that creating the documents isn’t always enough.

The article by Susan Brink details the final days of Bunny Olenick, 87-year-old mother and grandmother, whose massive stroke in December of 2008 threw her family into a state of confusion… in spite of the fact that she had done all the right things.

“Olenick had done all she could to give her family instructions about her death. She had spoken to her sons about her wishes, filled out an advance directive, a living will, and had named her sons as health care proxies — all legally accepted documents and procedures designed to insure that a person’s end-of-life wishes are spelled out and honored. Yet even they weren’t prepared for the many difficult questions they faced.”

The questions they faced were a surprising mixture of technical and metaphysical: Did “life-support” include temporary nasogastric tubes for nutrition?—How exactly does one define “Quality of Life?”—Was a short-term oxygen mask okay, even though a respirator was against her wishes?—And Bunny’s own heart-breaking question upon waking up in a hospital bed, “Why am I still here?”

Bunny’s story illustrates for all of us the importance not only of creating the appropriate legal documents, but also creating the time and space to talk to our loved ones about these difficult situations. Our firm can help you to create an estate plan that will protect your loved ones and guide your agents in your wishes… but the documents are only a small part of the process. Talk to your family about the process of creating your estate plan: the how and why of your important decisions. Knowing why you made the choices you did will help your family accept your decisions and follow your wishes when the difficult metaphysical questions come up.

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